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a personal update

things are weird right now

tl;dr important info bolded for y’all

i’ve gotten to a place where i’m getting super comfortable in my gender, but now am experiencing the full force of my dysphoria. probs bcuz the constant misgendering is more painful and so frequently willful now that i’m much more public w my genderqueer/trans-ness.

for these reasons and others, i’ve decided to pursue a medical transition. w the help of a friend in the medical field, i got a new primary care physician who specializes in trans medicine and finished the leg work (blood panels, medical history, etc.) for HRT. so, assuming no complications or suspish stuff in my blood work, i’ll be starting T on may 2nd. at that time, i’ll probably start maintaining some transition timeline stuff on this blog. i’ll be tagging everything as “transition” or “transition timeline” and “nudity” when appropriate in case anyone would prefer to blacklist those kinds of posts.

additionally, i’m seeking a breast reduction. my breasts cause me great discomfort and have since i was a teenager, for both gender and pain reasons. i have pretty significant neck, shoulder, and upper back pain, but it’s been hard to tell how much of that has been from the strain of my breasts and how much is due to autoimmune/chronic pain stuff. ah, the life of a spoonie. anyway, bcuz i’m trying to get the breast reduction billed as a pain thing, my new doc suggested i get some spinal x-rays just to rule out any other causes.

the general surgeon he referred me to initially refused to give me an appointment for a consultation bcuz i haven’t had a minimum 6 mos. of pain treatment. but then my x-ray results came in an apparently i’ve had a pretty significant loss of cervical curve (i.e. the upper part of my spine is more straight than it’s supposed to be) and now i can make an appointment no problem. but then the surgeon turned out to not be in my insurance network, so i’m waiting on a new referral.

but the spinal injury stuff is interesting bcuz it could explain a lot of my chronic symptoms that have been causing me diagnostic woes for years: chronic headaches, joint pain in my lower extremities, dizzy spells, shit, maybe even grinding my teeth in my sleep. so this is just such a weird medical turn. buuuutttttt it also means that a breast reduction could alleviate a ton of my symptoms. it could change my life in so many ways, so now i’m even more anxious to make that happen.

anyway, pertinent information for y’all is that if i am able to get the breast reduction sooner sooner rather than later, i’ll also probably be posting some surgical before and afters, and will tag those as something like “surgery” ; “surgical scars” ; “nudity” etc. more on that when we get there.

but… yeah. shit’s happening and i’m just really hoping it will happen in a good way. love to you all.

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